If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
