Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
