weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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