thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
