Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well you can't waste a boner
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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