You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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