super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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