i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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