Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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