in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
