French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
