he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
