Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
