I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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