If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
