Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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