She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
