Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.