maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A+ Viking dick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
