His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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