the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
