You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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