im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
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update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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