bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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