I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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