If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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