do herpes really smell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
