I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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