I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
