You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
