$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
id be glad to
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
