There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
