3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
