The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
