but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
