he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
