She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
