I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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