I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
