also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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