Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
