Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize