the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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