Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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