Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
