Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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