i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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