Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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