Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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