I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do herpes really smell.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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