i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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