Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
