Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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