ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
