I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
