My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
