update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
