i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
